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austin_dern

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Apr. 13th, 2012

The Tromsy Campus district, known as such for its location in the Okenscip Village district, is unquestionably one collections of buildings and built things in the Tromsy Campus district area. The campus --- like Middle Village named for ``poet of the Revolution'' Philip Morin Freneau in a process never convincingly explained except while it's being explained to you --- was constructed in the hopes that the famous Harvard Oxford College of Cambridge would open a branch campus here.

Modern eyes not caught by the flim-flam artist, or ``flartist'' as Jarold L Flirm hoped to be known until he said it aloud, behind the scheme might see this as ridiculous. But in those innocent, trusting days of the 1980s it was hard to check credentials. Even a quick Google ``I'm feeling lucky!'' search had to be delivered by oxen-drawn cart and would take over nine months to be returned, and messages were often intercepted by marauding bands of pixels. Plus, earlier projects like the Little Cape Kennedy Very Barely Outer Space Launch Center and Discount Record Staring Emporium, the Other New York Yankees Branch Stadium, the Taj Mahal South, and the Warm-Weather South Pole had successfully resulted in protracted decades-long legal squabbles.

Furthermore, Flirm had what all subscribers to the project described as a very convincing English accent. However, recordings made on a wax cylinder make it clear his his accent was the Trescending Opprobrial dialect of the neighboring Tranty Plims meadows. So we're still at a loss for how the project came together, but it did and now you too can live in these definitely present buildings.

Within the Raltaws Apartments, intended as faculty housing until it was discovered very few professors could serve as load-bearing walls and the whole thing was rebuilt with wood and stuff instead, are a variety of two, square-root-of-5, four, and imaginary bedroom suites. The layouts range from open, community-oriented apartments lacking walls and marked by wooden stakes in a grass lot through to highly exclusive penthouse apartments accessible only to the elite few willing to cut open their own door. Rents follow a pattern in which you pay money, and then you pay some more money, and then you pay some money after that, and then you pay money every month or when they remember to ask. Unfortunately they no longer accept trips to the airport in lieu of rent because the people at Tayber Regional Airport won't let them in anymore.

One feature attraction is the world-famous Liwlow Sprak Library. In contrast to considerable folklore this library was built with the weight of the included books in mind, to the point of obsession amongst the architects. Unfortunately with the Harvard Oxford College of Cambridge insisting in a series of increasingly stern letters to the court that it does not and never has existed, the book weight is considerably under expectations, causing the building to rise.

Its present position, 140 feet above the ground, gives the campus a distinctive skyline, and a series of rope bridges and rescue albatrosses dressed as recreational albatrosses provide convenient access for dozens of visitors yearly. In further consequence the Sprak, or ``Purra'' as it is known by people who've mistaken it for the engineering library in Tranty Plims, has acquired one of the world's leading colletions of ballast, which may be examined while in the facility as long as everyone doesn't take theirs to the same side of the building at once again.

Janice L Deflitt's renowned statues ``Cranky Victory'' and ``Delayed Contestant'' were designed as centerpieces for the Quadrangle, an H-shaped park two blocks north and east of the limits of the district in a complicated afterthought, two years ago. Neither has been seen because the wrapping paper was too attractive to just tear up, and no one has been able to find the seam so as to take the tape off delicately. Accusations that Deflitt was just a costumed Flirm were answered by Deflitt with sarcasm and rubber band balls flung at her accusers until she made good her escape. The statues make for a good meeting point for fans of things and other items.

Trivia: The Patowmack Company, incorporated to improve the Potomac River, paid its first dividend in the summer of 1802. This was also its last. Source: The Grand Idea: George Washington's Potomac and the Race to the West, Joel Achenbach.

Currently Reading: Discipline and Punish: The Birth Of The Prison, Michael Foucault.

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