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austin_dern

June 2025

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Jul. 14th, 2024

The first thing I noticed getting into Dollywood was the big stand full of pamphlets. The park has real actual physical maps, there for the taking, just like in the long-ago days of 2019 in parks. Also a programming schedule, in case you want to see one or more of the many live shows the park offers. I snagged both, naturally (and wisely; they were cleaned out by the time we left, after park close) and have the delight of a couple park maps with the crunch of actual use in them.

Next thing we noticed, past the photo op where people could photograph --- or have a park photographer take the picture --- themselves in front of the entry Dollywood Summer celebration sign, an array of kite-like banners hung from wires above the midway, a rainbow in green and orange and brown. It was beautiful, a neat simple delight. And we had got there just late enough in the day that it was catching the light spectacularly, refracting gentle hues on the whole world, it seemed.

This, a small sign beside told us, was part of the Summer Celebration: the Roadside Attraction ``Kite Sky''. Apparently the park (always?) has a seasonal celebration going to add temporary decorations to the fixed attractions. And, this time, it was faux Roadside Americana-type attractions, the sorts of things you might be able to coax dad into stopping on a long road trip. There were some of these scattered all over the park, unexpected little extras to an already well-arranged scene. Some were these little expressions of joy, like the Kite Sky or a similar one that was rainbow ribbons over a covered walkway. or pleasantries like the South's Largest Picnic Basket, a sculpture of just that. Some were nice goofy dumb things, like the World's Largest Can Of Beans, just a metal cylinder labelled with the brand of beans they use in restaurants (I assume). Some came close to being the kinds of public art you'd see in any city trying to lure people downtown, like the Water Hose Fountain that's this jumble of candy cane-shaped wires, threatening to sprinkle water on you.

We did not approach the Water Hose Fountain close enough to get wet, but it would not have been a bad idea. It was --- to reiterate something true this whole trip --- incredibly hot and muggy. The first thing we went for at the park was ice cream, at one of the indoor restaurants up front. I think we changed minds at the last moment to milkshakes as we wanted both cold and something to drink, and we expected that an ice cream cone or sundae would turn into a mass of lactic glue faster than we could possibly eat. This was a good compromise, the only flaw of which is that it wasn't endlessly refillable.

I know that the next day --- Monday --- we got a refillable souvenir pop bottle, so we could get as much to drink as we desperately needed. I'm not positive what we did Sunday night, which despite the setting sun was still hot and muggy. I guess just got some regular cups. I know at the end of the day I was thirsty and asked a security guy where there might be a fountain. He seemed baffled by the question ([personal profile] bunnyhugger clarified that we meant a drinking fountain, in case he thought we were trying to meet someone at some decorative fountain) and finally suggested we try the bathrooms just around the corner there. This was a good impulse, by the way, but wrong; there were fewer drinking fountains than you'd expect at the park and none at bathrooms, somehow. I get that when the pandemic started everyone turned off their drinking fountains and they've been left off because the good pre-pandemic things aren't allowed back, but this is a matter of what was built when the park was built. Maybe they figure anyone just wanting water will get a cup from any of the many restaurants or drink stands.

Also a thing we discovered fast about the restaurants, just looking at the menus: they had vegetarian options. Every restaurant or stand we investigated had at least one item that could be called an entree and that vegetarians could eat. Often that vegans could eat. It's quite the contrast to Cedar Point, which figures vegetarians can eat fries or cheese-on-a-stick, and Michigan's Adventure, which figures vegetarians can grab something from the gas station outside the park. Good development, though. We made plans to get vegetarian corn dogs when we were ready to eat.


And now in photos, we're coming near the end of Friday at Halloweekends; what pictures of things in the dark remain to be seen?

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Walking past the Cadillac Cars, which seemed to have recovered from the breakdown the previous night, looking at the Power Tower.


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ValRavn has a giant throne as part of the decoration outside. This is not that. This is a large bat-winged skull throne set up in a gift shop.


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Here's what the bat wings look like from the side, with Halloweekends merch in the distance.


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Here we're in the misty far back of the park, looking up at Top Thrill 1 1/2.


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Slightly less mist here, and a view from the Magnum XL 200 coaster queue at Top Thrill 1 1/2.


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Here I'm just focusing on the empty queues and how nice and geometric it all is, all those lines in perspective.


Trivia: In 1471 when Borso d'Este of Ferrara travelled to Roma to be invested with his dukedom by the Pope, he included in luggage his two-volume, 34-pound lavishly decorated Bible, which had cost 2200 florins and included more than a thousand miniature illustrations. Borso had it re-bound for the triumph of visiting the Vatican. Source: Worldly Goods: A New History of the Renaissance, Lisa Jardine.

Currently Reading: Lost Popeye Volume 35: Hooray For Ourside, You!! or If They Want Rooters, Why Take the Pig Out of the Pigskin?, Tom Sims, Bela Zaboly. Editor Stephanie Noelle.

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