Drink in your summer, gather your corn

[austin_dern]

I went to Burger King for good reason. My father has absorbed some of the fact that I am horribly bored with and would rather not eat spaghetti; specifically he's absorbed the ``I'' and ``eat spaghetti'' parts. I've only been pretty adamant about this for fifteen years now; maybe in the next year he'll get the rest. But he does insist now and then on making spaghetti, and depending on how courteous I feel I may gracefully decline or take a modest portion (more likely if he's made meatballs).

There weren't many people at Burger King -- just me and one guy listening to his CD player -- a fact the cashier remarked on in that little dead zone of time between when I payed and when my food was ready. She said it had been like that all night, with no obvious reason why. She guessed it might just be the cold. The major good reason for leaving a house the past few days has been to skim a bucket full of oxygen off the liquefied atmosphere. But hunger and a desire for something that isn't spaghetti is a fair reason too.

When I was part-way through my onion rings and hadn't started on my Whopper with Cheese (and I seem to be eating the onion rings or fries before the burger more often these days, which I hope isn't turning into a compulsive quirk), the guy with the CD player got up and walked into the kiddies playground. He lay down on the flat rubber mat at the entrance and stayed there, listening to his CD player.

A couple minutes later as I was into my burger a whole family showed up, with parents and a couple kids, one of whom saw there was a whole grown-up human laying in the kid's playground and thought that was something so important the parents should know about it. Multiple times. The guy woke up, or at least opened his eyes, and got up. He went back to his table and began to play with the plastic toy tie-in his Value Meal came with, the one showing a character from Excruciatingly Unfunny CGI Animated Movie About Flatulent Animals Challenging Humans, whatever the most recent installment of that was. The kids didn't go to the playground to play. I have no idea what any of this signifies.

In the forlorn hope of finding a relevant song cue I looked up ``Burger King'' on Wikipedia, and discovered the page was locked against changes by anonymous or newly registered users due to recent vandalism attacks on the page and on the talk page. Those who will not allow Usenet as a citation are doomed to reinvent its behavioral disorders, poorly.

Trivia: On 10 February 1942 the last (United States) civilian car for the Duration of World War II, Ford serial number 30-337 509, rolled off the assembly line. Source: Don't You Know There's A War On?, Richard Lingeman.

Currently Reading: Mister Lincoln's T-Mails, Tom Wheeler.

Comments

[jakebe.livejournal.com]

I am in awe of how you can make a simple trip to Burger King so very interesting, amusing and strange all at once. You're one of my favorite 'bloggers,' you know. When I grow up I want to be just like you!

By the way, onion rings are totally beneath you. Fries are way better!

-J

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

That's very kind of you, thank you.

I would like to point out, though, I didn't do anything to make a trip to Burger King weird; it just happened on its own. The most I did to influence things was chat with the cashier about how empty the place was. It just got strange on its own.

I like the onion rings much better than Burger King fries. They've got character.

[xolo.livejournal.com]

The major good reason for leaving a house the past few days has been to skim a bucket full of oxygen off the liquefied atmosphere.

There's a nightmarish image.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Don't look at me; it's Fritz Leiber's.

[xolo.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know. That story haunted me every winter as a child.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

As long as we're revelling in nightmares, did you ever catch the X Minus One radio presentation of it? It adapts extraordinarily well to being a story you gather around the campfire to hear, as it were.

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

wot? there's more to life than spaghetti??

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

There are enormously many more things to eat than spaghetti; I like most of them, not counting string beans and food with suckers on it.

[patchoblack.livejournal.com]

A Bucket of Air, if I remember the title correct. An interesting short story.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

A Pail of Air, but it's pretty near the same thing. Haunting, particularly when you go a week without your feet really feeling warm.