From Saginaw's tall whispering pines

[austin_dern]

I've never before bought a Christmas Tree. Before going to college I was at the age when it was clearly my parents' responsibility to buy a tree on the occasional year when we didn't use the artificial one. Once I went to college I was away between Thanksgiving weekend and as close to Christmas as I could get (my parents had the idea I wanted to leave minutes after my last exam was done; I had the idea I wanted to be on my own as long as possible; and after my second semester I invariably ``happened'' to have a final the last day of exams), so the tree was bought before I got home. Ditto with graduate school, and then once I was in Singapore for most of December the tree was up weeks before I was back in North America. I could in theory have bought a tree at college, but when I was living in dorms or grad student housing Official Dorm Rules did not explicitly prohibit the existence of Christmas Trees but they were not encouraging. And when I had my own apartment, in Troy or in Singapore, since I was going to be gone for a half a week before and around a week after Christmas there wasn't any point having a tree anyway.

So it was odd my mother asked me to buy a tree this year, but it's been an odd year. What with weekends being filled with things like going to Manhattan and weekdays being filled with things like my mother's eye surgery there hasn't been time to decorate. So a couple days ago my mother asked me to buy a tree, and I said I would if I saw one, and I gradually came to realize that I had not the slightest idea where trees are sold. My father recommended the Grange, which I assume is related to the old Grangers movement, although since the only Grange I knew offhand was a road intersecting Orchard Road in Singapore this wasn't helpful. My father gave directions, pointing to a location which if I wasn't mistaken was presently a small strip mall containing a Dunkin' Donuts and a Subway shop that opened in July and closed last month. I was mistaken. Just before this mall is a well-camouflaged little Grange shop, and they had a small scattering of trees.

Since the spot's also by a Lowe's, my father asked me to pick up some parts for a picture case that he's building, and paint for a metal grate he's painting. My father was careful to explain the picture case parts were in the middle of aisle 1; in fact, they were at the front of aisle 2. He also explained that the paint was in the leftmost of the three aisles labelled paint; in fact, they were on the far end of the middle aisle. I suspect he was thinking of another Lowe.

Trivia: In the aftermath of the Boston Tea Party, some Bostonians gave up on eating fish caught in the harbor, as they had ``drunk'' East India Tea. Source: Redcoats and Rebels: The American Revolution Through British Eyes, Christopher Hibbert.

Currently Reading: The Age of Voltaire, Will and Ariel Durant.

Comments

[spaceroo.livejournal.com]

When I was young (under about 12 or so) my family always used an artificial tree, a really cheesy number about the same vintage as my old sister. I remember always feeling like we *must* be missing something by not having a real Christmas tree. Shortly thereafter a friend of my mother's, one of those people who knows *everybody* in town and has all sort of weird connections, "set us up" with an acquaintance who ran a Christmas tree lot every year, and every year around the 20th or so would give away "surplus" trees that hadn't sold yet. (They were generally flat on one side or whatever, but would decorate up just fine as long as you weren't putting it in the middle of the room.)

I have to say having gone both ways I'm solidly back in the artificial camp. Live trees are a pain. They stink, they throw up needles *everywhere* (particularly the "surplus" ones), leave spots of completely insoluble sap in the *worst* places, and you have to figure out what to do with it when you're done with it. Right now I'm displaying an incredibly cheesy four-foot model that cost all of $20, and I'm quite proud of it. Admittedly you can't actually see the tree through all the ornaments, but, hey, isn't that the point?

I was amused to discover a couple years ago that the Oakland Zoo was giving used Christmas trees to the zoo animals to chew on/play with/scratch with/etc. If I *knew* that my live Christmas tree would end up an elephant scratching post I might, just *might* consider getting one.

[orv.livejournal.com]

We had an artificial tree for years, when I was a kid. Then we switched to real trees for a few years, until one year my dad was walking around in his bare feet and rammed a pine needle so far into the sole of his foot that it got infected. After that it was artificial trees again.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

We haven't had that problem yet, but we're a pretty steadily sock- or slipper-wearing family between mid-November and March, so it takes an impressive needle to do something against that.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

We had used an artificial tree for years, but one year, my mother declared we were getting a live tree and things were pretty stable with that. They do look better, and smell wonderful, and the cats are fascinated by it because, I believe, they suspect there might be a squirrel within it.

I haven't heard of any good uses for Christmas Trees here, although they are recycled into something. Probably mulch. That's not so much fun.

[xolo.livejournal.com]

I'm a great partisan of the aluminum trees. I keep intending to make a painted sheet-metal cone that goes *bonk* when you rap on it, like they had in 'A Charlie Brown Christmas', but I've never gotten around to it.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

I know the kind you mean. It does seem like a challenge to build to start with, and a nasty storage problem -- it's just going to be unavoidably bulky and odd-shaped, and undoubtedly will roll to where it can best jab someone in the foot.

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

We've gone the artifical route the past three years, as Mom's friend Brian has lent/given[*1] his rarely-utilized tree to us. While I miss the shopping at local tree lots and the encouragement of a highly local farm economy, it's hard to argue with "It's already here in the attic, and takes about 10 minutes from first steps up to the attic to Having A Tree."

--Chiaroscuro
[*1] It'll be academic after I eventually move out, and Brian at some point moves in here, to live out the rest of his days in completely platonic companionship with Mom. ("Well, it'd save us both on housing and heating costs, and you're over here often enough anyway..")

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Somehow assembling our artificial tree seemed to take more than ten minutes, but we were kind of young at the time and it was one of those with the four hundred kerspillion branches so that logically it couldn't possibly have huge barren regions, yet somehow it always came out looking like a weakly camouflaged cell phone tower.

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

I think ours is a bit later in design, as it has exactly three pieces, which seems like the right balance between storability and ease of build. Of course, Storability is low a concern given the size of our attic[ *1].

--Chiaroscuro
[*1] Seriously it's big, I've been to furry cons with smaller Dealer's Rooms [*2].

[*2] And less merchandise. Mom's a packrat.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Three pieces seems small. Is it the kind where you could just use one piece as a small table-top tree?

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

Yes, pretty well, if you had the appropriate base.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Practical and more flexible that way, then. Good.

[rcoony.livejournal.com]

For several years we just used the most convenient potted shrub we had, nevermind that they were all leafy instead of pine-needly. Though now we don't even do that anymore. I remember murdering trees when I was little. They were a lot more trouble, but they were also more fun. Trudging around out back looking for a good one, then dragging it back and going through all the trouble of setting it all up. But we don't do any of that anymore.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Oh, you can avoid the killing of trees by using the tofu trees instead. Much more humane.