I'm just a simple guy, I live from day to day

[austin_dern]

At the supermarket: after trying out various lines for size and finding that it's the sort of day where people ahead of you will seem to have only the little hand basket, but will have filled the hand basket with well over 2,038 individual, tiny items, no two of which appear to be the same, I settled on the express lane. This assumed that the cashier would accept a bag of eight bagels to be one item, rather than eight; I fit comfortably under the ``About 10 Items Or Fewer'' sign with a ruling of one bag of bagels as a single item, but far above it if they're counted as eight. My guess would have been that any sane cashier would treat a bag of bagels as one item, but earlier this week I learned that I can't necessarily count on that.

My earlier disillusioning about the cashiers was based on a note I found in the morning to please pick up some moist cat food as otherwise ``there will be a mutiny tomorrow morning''. The cat food had run out the previous day, and my mother substituted the cans kept around for just this sort of emergency, and the cats were not happy, although they were hungry. At the cat food section I got a couple of trays and the little plastic packets, buying a variety but making sure to get three of each flavor because, I am told, when the cats are given different flavors they shop around and trouble ensues. The cashier, though, after looking at the cat food and seeing that it was 24 packs of cat food, didn't scan it as 24 times (one packet), or even three times (one packet, broken down by flavor), but rather scanned each one individually, messing up my nice organization. So I'm not making any predictions anymore about how they count multiple purchases of the same time.

My cashier this time around counted the bagels as one item. Ahead of me, though, was a fellow who was buying one 20-ounce Coca-Cola, and nine bags of ten latex rubber globes each. Clearly, this is a person with plans for the weekend. I'm left wondering what it is that requires 90 latex gloves for which an even 100 would simply be unacceptably many.

Trivia: The number of ships passing through the Suez Canal peaked in the early 1980s at 22,000 annually. By 2002 it fell below 15,000. Source: Parting the Desert: The Creation of the Suez Canal, Zachary Karabell.

Currently Reading: And Four To Go, Rex Stout. It occurs to me that someone must have written Adrian Monk/Nero Wolfe crossover fan fiction. I don't know if I want to read such a thing, but their sidekicks would probably share a number of horror stories.

Comments

[porsupah.livejournal.com]

Presumably, the time & motion analysts have concluded that only 450 fingers are actually required.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Have to hope they don't accidentally break any of the gloves, then. It'd be awkward to go out to the store right away again, if the guy would be recognized.

[xolo.livejournal.com]

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

Where has all the Qatfood gone?
Short time lasting.
Where has all the Qatfood gone?
I think we're out.
Where has all the Qatfood gone?
My big fat Qat is wanting some.
I guess I'll buy some more,
I guess I'll buy some more.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

I must be getting old; I forgot the cat food punchline. My mother got an abundant supply on her own, I suppose out of fear that I wouldn't see the note or act on it. So the cats are fed for a good while now.

They haven't taken to dropping the cat food packs off the counter, although accidents in the supermarket would suggest this would be one way within their power to get the packs open without benefit of thumbs.

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

My guess is that 100 gloves were the plan; but then incredible thirst came over him, and he decided that a Coke was worth a safety margin of 10 less gloves. One box of gloves was quietly returned to the shelves.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Hm. You know, that may just add up, if the budget for the entire expedition was thirty dollars. Another package would have just put them over, unless the Coke were dropped.

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

Perhaps fiscally as well, though I was thinking rather that nine boxes of gloves and one Coca-cola makes ten items.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's not so serious. The signs explicitly say ``About 10 items'' (or ``About 5 items'' for the really express lanes, and the ``About 15 items'' for the not-so-express lanes) or fewer. How far you can stretch ``about'' is debatable, yes, but you have to allow one more or else there's no point to the qualifier.

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

I am almost distressed at the notion of having both an "About 5 items" and an "about 10 items" lane as I am for the basic notion of an "About 5 items" lane. Even given that implicit in that is a range of up to 7, is there that large a fraction of the cutomer base of a grocery store that buys that few items on a visit? A large enough percentage that can;t be accomodated in a 10-item lane?

I may be biased because I qualify for an express lane about once every year in my grocery purchases, and then only because I'm stopping before work, but this just seems like inefficient efficiency.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

I believe it's oriented for the people who would never dream of using anything but the hand basket, or who use the supermarket as an oversized convenience store and are just grabbing a soda or candy bar. It's a bit silly, I suppose, but it does convey the impression of a more express lane than the normal express lanes.

[bunny-hugger.livejournal.com]

Clearly, this is a person with plans for the weekend.

Hilarious!

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you kindly.