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austin_dern: Inspired by Krazy Kat, of kourse. (Default)
austin_dern

July 2025

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One of the people at work regularly does the crossword puzzle, and that's on the page with with Doctor Gott, Bridge, and Dear Abby columns, as well as Doonesbury and (why not?) F Minus (which by the way featured a panel this week either a tribute to Mystery Science Theater 3000 or an independent re-creation of a classic Invention Exchange invention). Sometimes, I'll take the chance to read the columns, which occasionally have bits of madness. One of them came up this week, I think. ``Joyce'' asked for help in dealing with a co-worker from another department, whom she has encounters with a couple of times each week, and who consistently calls her by ``Sue'', a name which is fine yet wrong, even as a Dear Abby pseudonym. Abby's advice for how to correct him without embarrassment to any party:

DEAR POLITE: Try this. Tell him you have changed your name to Joyce --- that others are using it now and you'd appreciate it if he would, too. If he asks you the reason for the name change, say it's because all your life you have felt more like a Joyce than Sue. (It's true.)

I understand the sort of shyness and desire to avoid embarrassing situations, even if it's someone else getting embarrassed, which would go looking for ways to avoid pointing out to someone that he hasn't got your name even vaguely correct. Yet Abby's advice still strikes me as insane. It's the starting point for a dopey romantic comedy, not something that any actual person should do. One person I discussed this with suggested that maybe Abby was being sarcastic, pointing out that it's really not going to crush a person if you privately mention the mistake, although I have trouble imagining Dear Abby being sarcastic.

Really, I think the quality of her advice has declined sharply since she died. (She did die, didn't she?)

Trivia: The Chicago Tribune published a European edition until 1934, when it was bought by the Paris edition of the New York Herald Tribune for $50,000. Source: The Paper: The Life And Death Of The New York Herald Tribune, Richard Kluger.

Currently Reading: Designing The Centennial: A History Of The 1876 International Exhibition In Philadelphia, Bruno Gilberti. I'm not sure I came out of this knowing the Centennial Exposition better --- it's more about how the philosophy of expositions developed with chronology of events given only in passing --- but it has taught me the useful word ``vitrine''.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-30 12:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mondhasen.livejournal.com
Really, I think the quality of her advice has declined sharply since she died. (She did die, didn't she?)


Death seems a minor detail to great authorship, but I can't tell from a quick net search if she is living at 91 or deceased. Her daughter is responsible for the column now.

We have a patron at the library who consistently calls me Bob, despite numerous corrections, and he invariably returns, embarrassed, and apologizes. So to him I just answer to 'Bob,' and shrug.

Aside: all of my treasured curios reside in a vitrine...

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-31 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] austin-dern.livejournal.com

If it's her daughter than it's just her daughter who's gone crazy, then.

There you go: I could see it being a little embarrassing to have a person take you in private and tell you you've got the name wrong, but it's hardly humiliating and if the person just can't keep it straight, well, then it becomes something you can both laugh over at attempted corrections. That's a sensible way to go about things.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-30 04:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gafennec.livejournal.com
IIRC, and perhaps I don't, the original Dear Abby did die. The column is now written by her sister.

(That's me, GAfennec, the useless font of useless information!) :)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-30 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonfires.livejournal.com
Ann Landers and Dear Abby were sisters. The sister writing Ann Landers died in 2002, and the column died with her. Dear Abby is currently written by the daughter of the original, since circa 1995.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-31 05:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] austin-dern.livejournal.com

Ah, now, that makes things clearer. I'd wondered what happened to Ann Landers, too, but mostly hadn't worried about it.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-31 05:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] austin-dern.livejournal.com

Aw, well, looks like you remember the right neighborhood of correctly. The Ann/Abby/Daughter thing is a little mussed up.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-31 02:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonfires.livejournal.com
Evil me thinks the real names are "Jane" and "Stu" }:>

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-31 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] austin-dern.livejournal.com

Hey, now, I like that scheme.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-31 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chefmongoose.livejournal.com
I think the advantage Dear Abby's suggestion is simple: It covers the next five or six times that the co-worker brings it up with no need to get the least bit huffy. "It's Joyce now.", said gently, gives adequate points for insistent reminder without making the other person feel ill at ease.

Still, I think it's easier that he simply be reminded in private, repeatedly. Agreed.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-02-01 05:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] austin-dern.livejournal.com

I suppose you're right that lying about a name change does make it easier to offer reminders when he forgets the next couple times, as is almost inevitable. Although I think at that point making it a subject of private amusement is probably better, since having something you can snicker over together is a way of building a relationship. They can start calling each other the wrong names and laughing about it.