A special underwater mike

[austin_dern]

I think I have reached the end of the Internet. I was chatting with someone about Saturday's Sherman's Lagoon (featuring an appearance by occasional plot device The Big Kahuna) and the conversation naturally turned to Jabberjaw. In particular it was mentioned the episode in which the villain has for some reason come up with a ray beam to turn humans into sharks, allowing the extremely dimwitted members of The Neptunes to feel the force of their aquatic society's racist anti-shark policies and not realize for altogether too many scenes that this is because they are sharks, dummies. I'm sorry, but they're really, really slow on the uptake here.

And since I can't get idiotic cartoons out of my brain I naturally leapt to another one in which, in the opening scenes, some sciencey types announce they've perfected a hat which will make the wearer's wishes come true, but they hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, and as they finish the sentence the villain of the day breaks in and steals the helmet. This qualifies as the wrong hands. So naturally I went to try pinning down these episodes by finding an episode guide, and here's where I made my discovery of the limits of the Internet.

Wikipedia does not have an episode guide for Jabberjaw.

They have episode titles, production codes, and initial air dates, yes, but not episode summaries. You can look at the titles and have to guess what corresponds to what. And it's not just Wikipedia: the top entries on a Google search for Jabberjaw episode guides turn up nothing but titles. It's staggering to think that this is un-Wikipediaed. Jabberjaw is a forgettable series, yes, but it's not like we're talking about The Skatebirds or Dinky Dog or Space Kidettes, this is a series normal people in their upper 30s remember watching for some reason. And that airs on Boomerang often enough. Finding a gap like this in the information record is like discovering nobody's written down anything about Portugal.

The shark transformation episode was ``The Great Shark Switch'', by the way. The magic hat one was ``Hang Onto Your Hat, Jabber''. (I found this episode on YouTube and discovered to my delight it features, in the modern vernacular, an epic sombrero fail.)

Trivia: A turbine failure caused the Sputnik I booster to cut off one second ahead of schedule.

Currently Reading: They'd Rather Be Right, Mark Clifton, Frank Riley. You know, last time I read this, the generally acclaimed ``Worst Hugo-Winning Novel EVER'', I thought there was lurking out around the corners flashes of smartness suggesting there was a better book on the brink of appearing from it. This time around, I think I was wrong. It's just dopey and boy does it read like the sequel to something. The scene about the essential five percent of the world and the 95 percent of slackers is still good stuff, though.

Comments

[orv.livejournal.com]

There's a similar situation with 'George of the Jungle'. A nice list of titles, but only partial summaries for some of the episodes.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

That is a stranger case, actually. George of the Jungle may be more obscure to general audiences, but people who do watch it would tend to be Jay Ward gas, and you expect a higher level of talkativeness from the fans. Come to think of it I believe I ran across this problem trying to check on a Superchicken reference and don't know why it didn't strike me then.

[xolo.livejournal.com]

in the modern vernacular, an epic sombrero fail

I am both appalled and delighted to live in an age where a phrase such as 'epic sombrero fail' communicates an unmistakeable meaning.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

It's a great combination of words, isn't it? I ordinarily don't like putting together words just because they sound funny in juxtaposition (thus my underuse of ''pants'' while trying to ge funny, for example), but this is a case where it just fits exactly.

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

Until there's a DVD release.. I wouldn't particularly expect one.

Or, alternatively.. Wikipedia does take someone to write those episode guides. That could be you. You can push the internet hivemind that one bit further.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

I am surprised to find it hasn't had a DVD release or an anticipated one; I guess the bubble has really and truly died this time. It is less surprising that it had only a best-of videotape release, since that was how they did things in the 80s. Maybe hulu (remember hulu?) will come to its rescue.

[moxie_man]

The only thing I recall about that series is that the shark had a Stoogies-Curly-type voice/behavior.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

That's about all that actually needs remembering from the shoe, although it is a good part of why it has the charm it has. If Jabberjaw the character didn't have that Joe Besser laugh and Rodney Dangerfield catchphrase it would have too little personality.

[skylerbunny.livejournal.com]

You realize, of course, that this is your opportunity to contribute something to Wikipedia! Thus pushing the end of the Internet exactly as far as you're willing to move the line.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Yyyyyyyyeah ... Well, I have talked about my possibly irrational reluctance to put stuff on Wikipedia directly, although I have written stuff which became Wikipedia source material. Maybe I'll do it as a three-week break from original writing around these parts and that can be a basis for somebody else.

[bunny-hugger.livejournal.com]

I actually don't remember what you've said about Wikipedia. What's behind your reluctance to contribute to it?

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Actually, I am not sure that I have anything rational behind it. I know initially I gave the excuse that I wanted to see how the first libel suite involving it worked out, but those don't seem to be happening, or at least I don't seem to be hearing about them. Now I suppose it amounts to my reluctance to do anything for the first time.

[bunny-hugger.livejournal.com]

That's why you have me to make you do stuff.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Yes, and thank you so for getting me to do things. They're so much more fun than the un-done.

[lexomatic.livejournal.com]

Jabberjaw (1976), not to be confused with Kenny the Shark (2003), or with the two sharks who appeared in the Pink Panther-plus primetime animated anthology from the early 1980s. Whose existence I am having difficulty verifying but it was not, IIRC, Pink Panther and Sons (1984) featuring Pinky and Panky. No, the anthology had a segment with Adam and Eve; God delivered fig leaves on clothes hangars.

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

I do have a recollection of an early 80s Pink Panther series, not including any irritating vague relations. I can almost place the advertisement in the Richie Rich comic books of the time. I shall have to think of this.