Daddy and Mom just stay at home and be calm and watch the late late show, uptown

[austin_dern]

``175 dollars to park for barely two hours! Could you believe it?''

``I could not and do not.''

``You'd believe it if you were there.''

``I was there, that's how I know not to.''

``If I wasn't exaggerating a bit --- ''

``By about five parts out of six.''

``If I wasn't exaggerating more than a bit --- ''

``You're just short of exaggerating six bits.''

``What would I be?''

``Accurate.''

``What's that?''

``What's what? There's a thousand thats on the highway every moment.''

``Flashed headlights on the right. You see anything to go flashing at?''

``No, I keep an old-fashioned modesty.''

``Too bad. After what we had getting out of town a car being interesting would be nice. $240 just to park for dinner. And we didn't even get to park it ourselves, someone came and took it.''

``You were upset about paying to park, now you're upset about paying not to park.''

``They always change the radio stations.''

``They never change the radio stations. They turn the radio off, then you spend ten minutes trying to figure what's wrong.''

``They shouldn't turn it off. I need the traffic report to decide whether the Lincoln or Holland Tunnel.''

``You have never changed your decision based on a radio traffic report.''

``I don't want to be surprised by getting stuck on the highway going nowhere for an hour.''

``You'd start suspecting by 45 minutes in. No surprise at all.''

``And didn't we get stuck for an hour right out of the parking garage?''

``Like the traffic report warned and you went right into.''

``Think what we could've saved if we'd found our own spot.''

``Like all that time spent having dinner.''

``$295 to park. Well. I wouldn't want to miss all of dinner.''

``I thought you enjoyed meeting her.''

``Sure. I just have to stay a little curmudgeonly. ... Don't want you thinking I'm all sweet.''

``I promise I'll never think of you as sweet, however you act.''

``The Pulaski Skyway.''

``What?''

``We're passing the Pulaski Skyway.''

``I wouldn't contradict you, but why mention it now? Other than we won't be passing it a half-hour from now?''

``She said she'd never been on the Pulaski Skyway.''

``Millions haven't been on the Pulaski Skyway. Right now, we're two people contributing to not being on it.''

``$340 to park and you don't --- what the --- you don't need me to pass so --- ''

``You're getting fragmentary again, dear.''

``Guy behind flashing. Didn't he notice there's cars in front of me too?''

``Most drivers figure that out. Are you maybe driving wrong somehow?''

``Don't think so. Doesn't feel like a tire's blown, engine temperature good, cars next to us aren't pointing underneath and yelling.''

``You drive one car on fire and the rest of your life figure that's the only thing which goes wrong.''

``That's enough. Ever since I've meant to get a fire extinguisher for every car I own.''

``It's a beautiful dream.''

``What kind of person doesn't remember specifically being taken onto the Pulaski Skyway?''

``What kind of person specifically takes a fiancee onto the Pulaski Skyway?''

``Our relatives.''

``If Mister Pulaski isn't offended I don't see where we have standing to be. --- Let me guess, they're honking at us?''

``Guy on the left. Flashed his headlights too. I think we're surrounded.''

``You're not overlooking something?''

``The car's smooth, the wipers are on their fourth cloudburst tonight, I --- uh-oh.''

``Uh-oh?''

``The headlights weren't on!''

``We've been driving over 90 minutes at night without headlights?''

``The parking garage. They turned it off 'auto', that's what. $440 to park and they turn off our lights.''

``They probably assumed we could turn them on.''

``What's the point of having headlights you don't have to think about if I have to think about them instead?''

``You better wave that driver thanks.''

``I'm too embarrassed. Can you hide me under a hat?''

``How do we drive 90 minutes at night in the rain without headlights and not notice?''

``It's all the street lights. If it were dark we'd have noticed. I bet there's somebody to write about light pollution.''

``The parking garage. You might get something back on your $580 for the risk taken.''

``Now you're talking.''

Trivia: On 22 July 1988 Hershey acquired the US candy division of Cadbury Schweppes. This gave it the market lead in the United States for the first time since 1966. Source: The Emperors of Chocolate: Inside the Secret World of Hershey and Mars, Joël Glenn Brenner.

Currently Reading: Asimov's Science Fiction, July 2011, Editor Sheila Williams.

Comments

[chefmongoose.livejournal.com]

My headlights are entirely manual, and I still manage to every now and then go down a well-lit road at night without them on. Usually when Is tart from a well-lit parking lot/garage, too.

--Chi

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

It comes about, for me, when I leave the car in the hands of someone like the parking attendant or the garage mechanic. I understand their logic in turning the lights off, just, I never think to turn them on afterwards.

My parents' car turns the lights off only a minute or so after getting out of the car, so it's really understandable there. Mine turns the lights off when you open the door after turning off the engine.