Epiphanies come easy when the sun sets on the Q

[austin_dern]

[ Scene: a subway car. Three people of interest to us ride, as a group; dub them Nominator, Vocator, and Apostrophor, for clarity. Another, Announcer, is never on stage. ]

[ The doors close, to the rapid firing of seventeen short electric beeps. ]

Apostrophor: So I thought half an umbrella would be the thing.

Nominator: What thing?

Announcer: [ Always loudly, overwhelming other dialogue. ] This was Morton Station. Hobart is next. Thank you for riding MyTra. This is the Green Line.

Apostrophor: For the costume you were talking about.

Vocator: We were?

Apostrophor: Before the announcement.

Nominator: I don't remember. There was this article I'd been reading.

Vocator: Where was it?

Nominator: On the web.

[ The train halts, and the doors open; with the same rapid sequence of beeps the doors close and the train resumes. ]

Announcer: This was Hobart Station. Hendricks is next. Thank you for riding MyTra. MyTra is proud to use one hundred percent more cotton.

Apostrophor: What was it about?

Nominator: Which?

Vocator: Shouldn't that be what?

Apostrophor: The article.

Nominator: Aren't articles whiches?

Vocator: They make as much sense being whats.

Announcer: MyTra is concerned about your safety. Please, if you see any unattended packages, parcels, bags, baggage, luggage, children, tools, animals, explosives, food, electronic devices, gels, or fluids dial 9-1-1 or tweet with the hashtag MyTraAlert.

Apostrophor: The article you were reading.

Vocator: What's the difference between bags and baggage?

Nominator: I wondered the same about baggage and luggage.

Vocator: Maybe it's whether you carry it by yourself, like, you lug it, versus you leave it for someone ...

[ The train stops, and the doors open and close as before. ]

Announcer: This was Hendricks Station. Curtis is next. Did you like your MyTra trip? Rate us five stars!

Apostrophor: You were reading about the difference between baggage and luggage?

Vocator: I was?

Apostrophor: Not you.

Nominator: I was?

Apostrophor: You were reading something.

Nominator: That does sound like me. I'm always reading something.

Vocator: That's true. I always thought you read things.

Announcer: MyTra is concerned for your safety this or any holiday season. Don't drive or operate heavy machinery exhausted. If you are exhausted please limit yourself to household chores such as running already-clean laundry through the washer again.

Apostrophor: Fine, but you were reading --- wait, what was that announcement?

Vocator: What announcement?

Apostrophor: That they just made on the PA.

Nominator: Those are the same announcement every time. You don't need to listen to them.

[ The train stops, opening and closing doors as above. ]

Announcer: That was Curtis Station. Colfax Interchange is next. While it isn't necessary to fletcherize your food, you should chew thoroughly before swallowing. MyTra wants to continue serving you a long, long while. Thank you for riding the Green Line.

Apostrophor: What are the announcements doing that you can't remember what you were talking about?

Vocator: We weren't talking about anything.

Apostrophor: Since we got on we have tried talking about some article you read, the difference between baggage and luggage, why they're called gravy 'boats', how you would make a ... a crown of something that expands on a button press, how much cotton is enough, and whether TV screens shown in a 3-D movie should show a 3-D picture, and you don't remember any of this?

Nominator: Oh, they should.

Vocator: Right, to the people in the movie the screen would be ...

Apostrophor: You had this conversation!

Vocator: If we already had this conversation then how did it turn out?

Announcer: MyTra is concerned about you reaching your destination safely. At the Colfax Interchange passengers may transfer to the Yellow, Orange, Purple, and Green Two lines.

Apostrophor: You got interrupted by the speaker and forgot everything.

Nominator: What speaker?

Announcer: Passengers continuing on the Green Line past Colfax Interchange may transfer to the Express Magenta Line at Thompkins Split. This is the Green Line. Remember, your opinions count with MyTra. Please submit them confidentially to our Facebook presence.

Apostrophor: That speaker.

Vocator: What was the announcement?

Nominator: Just we're riding the Blue Line.

Vocator: I didn't know Blue opened. We're not lost, are we?

Apostrophor: No ... I'll tell you when we're lost.

Vocator: Thanks.

Trivia: The City and South London Railway, as the first electrically operated underground system, dispensed with unnecessary things like windows in the train carriages. Source: London: The Biography, Peter Ackroyd.

Currently Reading: The Circus: MI-5 Operations, Nigel West.

Comments

[xolo.livejournal.com]

Not at all relevant, but...

Baseballs of Death! (http://longstreet.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83542d51e69e2015437541e46970c-pi)

[austin-dern.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, not relevant but quite interesting. Thanks.